Wednesday, March 11, 2015

50 Ways to a Happy Life by Just Be

1. Let Go of Expectations
Our expectations of how others should treat us can cause us untold stress and pain. When we let expectations go, it will see us free from disappointment.

2. Learn to Accept
We cannot and should not control everything in life. Acceptance of self, others and life situations is essential if we want to live a happy, healthy life.

3. Release Dependency on Others
When we depend on another to make us feel happy or to give our life meaning, we miss out on our own unique journey.

4. Control your Thoughts
Most of our stress is born, not from our life situations but the way we think about them. Choose your thoughts wisely.

5. Judge Not
Judging another will only serve in making you fearful of others judgments towards you; which in turn will make you afraid of doing, saying or being anything.

6. Stop Procrastinating
Don’t put off today what you can do tomorrow. Time goes by too quickly. Don’t waste life thinking about what you could be doing and just do it.

7. Be at peace with criticism
Trying to go through life avoiding criticism will only stop you from doing what you are meant to do and becoming who you are meant to be.
8. Change not another nor let another change you
Allow yourself or others to be who they truly are. Trying to mold another into being the person you want them to be, or changing oneself to please another takes away life’s opportunities.

9. Don’t Take it Personally
If another judges, criticizes or treats you, it is not a reflection on you but on them. Just because another thinks you are wrong does not make them right. Allow others to have their opinion but don’t let it be the voice in your head.

10. Stay Unique
With everyone trying to fit in, originality is rare. Give yourself the gift of being a one-off original.

11. Never Give Up

Good things aren’t meant to arrive overnight and we have little appreciation of that which comes easy. If you want something and believe in it, keep striving towards it, no matter what your age.

12. Leave the Crowd Behind
We are each here to enjoy our own exclusive life experience, following the crowd stops you from having it.

13. Collect Experiences not Treasures
The only thing we get to take with us when we leave this body is our knowledge and experience. Our possessions stay behind.

14. Abandon the Fear of Failure
A failure is simply a learning experience to teach us how not to do something in the future. When we learn something, through failure, it is a valuable gift that only we can give ourselves.

15. Believe in Yourself
Believe in what you want to do, not what family wants of you or society expects you to do. If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will.

16. Embrace Success
Have confidence in the fact you are successful and you always will be!

17. Love What You Do and Do What You love
When you are happy in your work, success will follow.

18. Don’t Place Your Worth on Your Appearance
Youthful looks will fade in time but the beauty within continues to grow. Embrace who you are and not how you look.

19. Take Responsibility for Your ActionsLive life believing karma exists.
20. Create the Change You Want To See
Don’t wait for someone else to do it first. Be the answer you’ve been waiting for.

21. Treat Everyone as an Equal
No one is better than another, no matter what their wealth or status. Believing we are better or lesser than another leads to grandiosity or lack of self-worth.

22. Listen to Others
Most are not listening, they are simply waiting for their chance to speak. When we allow ourselves to really hear what others are saying, we expand our own consciousness.

23. Take Not Revenge
It is not up to us to punish others for what we consider bad behavior. When we treat others badly, or push them away, to teach them a lesson, it will always backfire!

24. Remember You Have Freewill
It is your life, you do not have to do anything you do not want or choose.

25. Allow Yourself to Give and Receive Love
Opening your heart is not a sign of weakness, it’s a show of strength.

26. Let Go of Pain
We wouldn’t hold on to a burning coal, so why allow painful emotions to burn within our body.

27. Don’t Allow Rules to Stifle Creativity
Rules should be seen as guidelines, be a rebel and break a few.

28. Step Out of Your Comfort Zone Daily
If you want to grow in life, do something each day that makes you squirm.

29. Stop Waiting For another To Complete you
The only person who can make you complete is you.

30. Learn to Be on Your Own
Learning to love one’s own company makes the journey of life into an extraordinary expedition.

31. Like Yourself
If you don’t like yourself, you won’t respect yourself and if you don’t respect yourself, no one else will!

32. Keep Your Self-Talk Positive
It is the key to a happy, productive life.

33. Eat What Nature Intended
Genetically modified and chemically laden foods have no right being inside the human body. For lasting health and happiness keep your diet clean.

34. Nurture Body Mind and Spirit
They are connected and only when all three are balanced can we find harmony in life.

35. Free Your Voice and Learn to Say No
If others do not want to respect your right to choose, that is their problem. No matter what you do, you will never please others most of the time, so you may as well please yourself all the time.

36. Remember Your Friends
One of the biggest regret of those on their deathbed is losing touch with old friends. You cannot make new ‘old friends’. You will rarely make friends like the ones who have been in your life for the long hall, don’t forget them.

37. Free Yourself from Childhood Issues
The child in you lived, but got through those difficult times, don’t let the adult be punished by them.

38. Let Go of Resentment
Why let another’s actions blight your life? Being filled with resentment towards others makes you bitter. Let it go.

39. Control Anger
Our anger only serves in punishing us, not the ones we are angry with.

40. Help others to help themselves
Instead of telling others how to do it, show them by example.

41. Lose the Need to be Right
Wanting to be right, just makes others wrong. Value others opinions.

42. Question Everything
Don’t believe everything you read, hear or see. If it doesn’t feel right, chances are it isn’t.

43. Give Without Expect of Return
Doing nice things for others without expecting anything back, sets the spirit soaring.

44. Stop Throwing Pity Parties
Talk and think like a victim and be a victim.

45. Strive For Many Life Experiences
Keep your life energized with a new experience every day.

46. Why Wait? Go and Get It
If you want something, find a way to get it. Don’t leave your dreams as a thought. Step out there and create them.

47. Respect the Elderly
We will all be old one day.

48. Find Your Passions
How will you know what they are if you don’t seek them out?

49. Select Acquaintances Wisely
You become who you spend most time around.

50. Choose Happiness
We have a choice how to feel. For a joyful life make the decision to feel happy each and every day!

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

5 Principles of Genuine Kindness By Charles Glassman, MD, FACP

the definition of kindness is, “the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.” In a perfect world this is a quality we would wish to bestow upon ourselves and hope others also possess. But why does it seem so hard.

I know what you are probably thinking, “Speak for yourself. It’s not hard for me. I’m a kind person, it’s everyone else who isn’t kind.”

Well here in lies the greatest obstacle to creating a world where kindness is the unwritten law of the land; the habit of humanity; the definition of our existence. The obstacle to this is the fact that humankind has relinquished control to our primitive nature, controlled and orchestrated by (what I call) our automatic brain.

Let me digress, briefly, to shed light on this brain. Our automatic brain is the same brain as our cave dwelling ancestors and the major driving force in animals (including us Homo sapiens). It does not think (i.e. lacks consciousness) and only reacts. It reacts to anything it picks up as potentially dangerous, threatening, or causing us to feel vulnerable. When any of these are detected it automatically reacts causing us to fight or flee. How does it know what is dangerous? Through a lifetime of storing information. When I say this brain doesn’t think, that is different from the idea generating thoughts. It can cause us to have thoughts if those thoughts help us to fight or flee danger. For example, let’s say you grew up in a home where you were taught that rich people were evil. As 
you grew and became more educated, it led you to a career where you began to enjoy financial success. All of a sudden you begin to develop negative thoughts about yourself and feel anxiety. Why? Because your automatic brain detects this success as something dangerous because of the stored data from childhood and it is doing whatever it takes, by all necessary means, to get you to fight or flee this “danger”. Such is an example of a modern day saber-toothed tiger.

So let’s get back to kindness. I have highlighted the existence of a primitive nature controlled by a very basic reactive brain, the automatic brain (AB, for short). All humans possess this equally. But there is another part of us humans—a higher mind: reflective and conscious, pure and powerful—a gateway to our Divine nature. This is from where genuine kindness arises
But our AB is quite creative in how it protects us from so-called danger. Some people over the centuries have viewed the AB as ego or even the Devil. It can use kind acts to manipulate and to gain power over another. As well, being kind toward another may trigger danger as this brain may pick up that you are placing yourself in a vulnerable position and therefore the AB will cause you to fight or flee being kind; thus, the complexity and difficulty of being kind.

So how do we practice kindness with purity and from our Divine nature rather than orchestrated by our AB, and hence, our primitive nature?

1.       Give with no expectations

In other words, give with no strings attached. When we give with expectations of something in return, that is a sign our AB is taking the lead. When we expect something in return, that indicates our AB is trying to use kindness to gain the upper hand, thus insulating us from the danger of others taking advantage, or manipulating, us. Giving for display purposes, i.e. for the purposes of being viewed by others as a good person, may have immediate benefits on those to whom you give, but ultimately since it comes from the AB, will not nurture the Divine and genuine. In my mind, authentic giving without expectation leads to receiving without limitation.

2.       Understand that self-sacrifice often leads to self-sabotage

Surely it’s good to give of yourself, right? However, some of the greatest givers have allowed their own lives and families to fall apart. That is a sign that poverty and lack has somehow been programmed in their memory backs as something with which they are comfortable and the opposite as something dangerous (as the example above).  In order to be connected with true Divine kindness, you must first keep your own house in order—adequate (preferably abundant) food, clothing, and shelter. When you sacrifice yourself at the expense of others, you will block the access to true kindness, likely leading to resentment, inner anger, and even jealousy. Another way to look at this is a drowning person cannot help someone else who is drowning.

3.       Practice the Golden Rule

The most familiar version of the Golden Rule says, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Certainly, we would want others to be friendly, genuine, and considerate toward us, so it would make sense to do the same to others. Naturally, our AB will warn us that such action can make us more vulnerable. Such warnings are typical characteristics of the AB, which is forever scouring the landscape 24/7 for evidence of things that can hurt us. Don’t trust those warnings and practice this rule and realize we are all in this earth-boat together.

4.       Radiate Kindness

Have you ever described someone as having a “kind face” or say someone has “kind eyes.” I have. When you go through your days, no matter how stressful, maintain an upright posture, a smile on your face, and widen yours eyes (not in a creepy sort of way!). You can check in occasionally by viewing yourself in the mirror of a car, for instance. When you walk down the street envision your eyes sparkling, your face aglow, and your lips smiling. This will attract kindness to you and make your practice easier—more consistent with the Divine within you.

5.       Practice Non-Discriminatory Kindness

I think we can all agree that giving a homeless person a piece of bread or place a shirt on their back is an act of kindness. But what if you saw a millionaire in need of help. Or saw anyone in need of help who you perceived to have more than you or who was more powerful than you? Could you be kind to that person? You see, our AB does have us discriminating as a protective, defensive mechanism. “Why should I help that dude? They don’t help me?” (Hey, remember the first item on this list?!). Or you may be thinking, “They don’t need me to be kind. They can pay people to be kind to them.” You will find that when you follow your Divine instinct for kindness, you will not discriminate. I suspect, also, this practice will draw more kindness in your direction in ways you cannot even imagine.   


There is probably no greater place than the concept of kindness, which highlights the difference between our primitive and Divine natures. Approaching others using the five principles above will help you not to believe, trust, or take direction from your primitive nature and will throw open the gates to the Divine, unveiling your pure potential, life purpose, and ultimately genuine success.